Nenek: How would I know? Where did you put it?
Atuk: It was here a while ago. Now its gone! Did you take it?
Nenek: No I didn't. Owh..!! What for? I dont need the glasses. I'm not blind like you!
Atuk: Look, woman. There are only the two of us in this house. If it wasn't me, then YOU must have take the glasses and put it somewhere else. You're so forgetful!
Nenek: Now, don't start with me, man! I've told you I didn't take it. I DIDN'T TAKE IT, understand??!!
Atuk: Oh! Pickles!
Nenek: You are the ugliest man I've ever found when you're angry!!!
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I have always wanted to make myself as tiny as an ant when atuk (grandpa) and nenek (grandma) started their so called "fight". I tried the best possible to act as if I didn't hear their mind provoking conversations. If I have magic, I'd make myself invisible instantly. Sometimes such harsh conversation between them left an impression that they didn't like each other. But the funny thing was, they were married for more than 60 years! How can they stand each other for so long?
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Atuk: This curry dish is tasteless!
Nenek: You need to gargle more often. Your tongue must has shortened a bit.
Atuk: That's ridiculous! I know a good dish once I smell it. Yours is tasteless.
Nenek: Then don't eat it.
Atuk: What, you want me to die of hunger now?
Nenek: Oh! Shut up and just eat, will ya???!!
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And so they continued fighting while eating....
"Are they always fighting like that, mom?" I asked my mother one day.
"I don't know, honey. As far as I know, they love each other" mom shrugged her shoulder.
Atuk and nenek were not my real grandparents. Mom lost her parents when she was only 2 years old. Being an orphan at such a young age, she was taken care by her older sisters and brothers, in turn. That means, she did not stay at one place for long. When she got her first job as a nurse at a hospital downsouth, far away from home, she searched for an adopted family to live with.That's how she met atuk and nenek.
This couple have 7 children altogether, but felt pity for my mother so they took her as their own. Materially they are poor, but in their heart, they are the richest people. According to mom, the day I was born, nenek was the busiest woman making preparations with the tiny bed and bath and atuk was the happiest man announcing my arrival to everyone in the village and welcoming me into their house.
I grew up with them. As I became an ambitious, energetic teenager , they on the contrary gradually weakening. The day I left Malaysia for England to pursue my study, atuk's health condition has deteriorated badly. He passed away peacefully about three months after I delivered my eldest son. We were all sad.
Life was not the same anymore for nenek when her soulmate left. She has no one to argue with on pettty things in the house. The house turned so quiet as if nothing ever moved inside. Her sorrowness has taken toll on her health. We realised she was lonely, so we did all we can to make her happy. Her health regained, but not for long. Soon nenek was bedridden. She no longer talk to anyone. Mom said she was trapped in her own world. There was no sign of her coming back to reality.
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Hubby: See my glasses anywhere?
Me: No.
Hubby: Help me find it.
Me: Oh! You've always lost your things! Glasses, car keys, pen, what else..?!
Hubby: Stop preaching! Just help me find it, okay! I'm in a hurry here.
Me: You are so becoming old and forgetful, hubby!
Hubby: I'm okay with that. I have you to take care of me (smile)
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And he suddenly reminded me of atuk and nenek....
Similar arguments. Petty things. No hard feelings. Love thickening. Hugs. Grateful. Alhamdulillah.
Fighting and arguments are just the mix of spices of a married life. Now I understand what transpired between atuk and nenek long ago. I am experiencing the same. Funny, it doesn't hurt the feelings, instead, strengthen the love bonds between us. Mom kept reminding me on one thing few days before my wedding ceremony, 13 years ago. No matter how bad the fight was between you and your husband, at the end of the day both of you should resort to each other again, and the best place to do so is in the secrecy of your bedroom. Thanks mom. I appreciate the advice. It works as always.
Nenek followed atuk's path five years later. None of us her children and grandchildren could make her forget atuk.
May Allah forgive both of them, bless their souls and place them in His Jannah. Ameen.
Alfatihah.
