Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Everything seems to run smoothly on its track. What I need now is speed.
Monday, 21 December 2009
I would understand it if the language used is a foreign language and we're not so familiar with it. But I would also think that it is ridiculous to have someone saying something not of one's intention/meaning just because one can't understand own mother tongue. Pure intention of communication then becomes practical joke, as these pictures below explain themselves....
Pictures courtesy of firstname.lastname@example.org
Saturday, 19 December 2009
My main resolution this new year (in conjunction to Awal Muharam) is not to delay the 5 times prayer everyday as I used to do in the previous. I also want to be a good wife and mother to my family. And finally, I want to take care of my old mother and make her happy. That's all. I dont want to be over-ambitious. Hopefully I'll manage to fulfill my resolutions.
Saturday, 12 December 2009
I tried to educate my children how important it is in any means not to support the criminal activities indirectly.
"Kalau kita beli dan makan KFC, kita bagi duit kat orang Israel untuk bunuh saudara Islam kita"
So far, my children have been comprehensible. They obediently "quit" frequenting KFC and its sister outlets and kept telling themselves there are many options available for them.
Nevertheless, before the school term ended this year, my daughter showed me a terribly sour face and told me that her teacher was organising a 'get-together-after-exam' activity, her classmates were going to contribute RM10 per person and the teacher was going to buy KFC and they would eat together in class. My daughter refused to pay her portion. She refused to go to school on that particular day. I was touched by her determination.
A few days later it's my son's turn to show protest. He refused to go to school on the day his "school prefects" group organised a farewell party at McDonalds for the senior prefects from standard six. This time, I felt pity to my children. The impact of these fast food restaurants have on children is huge. Sometimes I think it's not fair for us parents to prevent the children from enjoying something they like just because there were conflicts and contradictions at higher levels. I was in dilemma for quite sometimes. How do I treat my children at KFC without paying for the bullets?
So when my husband told me he wanted to redeem his credit card points for the year end but could not decide what to have, I took this opportunity to redeem a RM50 KFC voucher on a pretext I don't actually spend a single sen from my pocket to buy KFC. This way, I will not be feeling too guilty. He agreed and arranged for the redemption.
The voucher was supposed to arrive about 3 weeks ago. Till this very day, my husband was still having arguments with the courier company on the delivery of the voucher. Because the issuance of the voucher was under my husband's name, the courier refused to release it to anyone else at home. Somehow rather, the voucher was always sent at the wrong time, first time when my husband was still at the office, second time when he was still on the way from office and had not reached home yet and the third time, he was out buying the school textbooks for the children. He was so frustrated waiting for the voucher and fighting over the phone with the representative from the courier office, that finally he decided to give up.
"Either you send me the voucher or not, it's up to you. I don't care anymore!!!"
So here I am, sitting in front of the laptop and writing this entry in my blog, thinking....
"Agaknya niat tu tidak pada jalan yang baik, sebab itulah sampai sekarang Allah tak makbulkan..."
Oh, well....(heavy sigh)
Thursday, 10 December 2009
"Jangan suka mengutuk anak orang, nanti dapat balasan, anak sendiri yang tak betul"
Nak cerita panjang-panjang pun tak guna. Aku letak posting suruh ambil iktibar, si Mr Observer ni pulak tuduh aku macam-macam pulak. Ko tanggung la dosa bebanyak. Kulit badan ko kan kalis api...
MORAL OF THE STORY for the one who claimed that he deeply reviewed my blog:
Saiz huruf ni aku kena besarkan sikit, sebab ada orang tak mampu berpikir untuk menilai apa mesej disebalik cerita yang aku sampaikan. Hampeh betul...
I believe what goes round, comes round. Balasan tetap ada untuk setiap perbuatan. Be nice to other people, we'll be happy. Live a moderate life and be grateful with what we have, God has made everything beautifully and sufficient for us in many ways. We just have to open our eyes and say "Alhamdulillah..."
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
But then one evening, when I came home from work, my son rushed to the door to greet me and also to whisper an unexpected message,
"Ibu, bibik buat kuih koci hari ni. Pergi la tengok kat dapur"
Having said that, he gave me a wide smile and then ran upstairs. Hmm... that's weird! What's so funny about "kuih koci"? So I went straight to the kitchen and have a check on the dining table. WOW! What have we here?
Feeling curious, I took one of the koci and peeled open the banana leaf covering it. Soooooo greeeeeen!!!!!! Yikes! It did not look edible at all! This is the first time I saw a green koci in my life! Perhaps it's related to the family of the famous incredible hulk. Or perhaps Bibik Ana is revolting against my choice of colour for her dress I bought her during the recent Eid Mubarak celebration (I bought her a red baju kurung that looks 96% similar to the one I bought last year). Oppss...that's me being forgetful..!
And so an interrogation process was carried out on her new controversial invention. She confessed that that was the first time she made koci in her entire life and that she did not actually know the exact ingredient required to make one. She found the green colouring in the refrigerator and carelessly pour excessive amount of the liquid in the ingredient mix and then regretted it and prayed hard that it will not make the taste of the koci bitter.
Nevertheless, the taste was as nice as any other koci sold outside at the stalls. Huhu....! Weird koci... Green, big, square-shaped koci! Not bad at all....
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Having done that, I marched into my room and closed the door behind me. It took me some times to ponder on what had just happened. It was terribly disturbing to see the child enduring the amount of pain on her body without even twitching. That was so daring of her.
Suddenly a piece of paper appeared from under the door. It was for me. I took it and unfold it. From the neatness of the hand writing I know who sent the note. It read....
I came out of my room with the note in my hand, just to find out that Aliya had shut herself in her room too. Grabbed a pen, I sat down at the study table and drew a line underneath her message. A line lower I wrote this...
Seeing her that way made my heart melt. Not long after that Aliya was in my arms, sobbing out her sadness. That is my six year old daughter regretting what she had done to me and repeatedly asking for my forgiveness. How else could I refuse her? She's my baby.
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
I went downstairs to get several rubber bands in the kitchen. Fold some papers till the size of a finger. That will do it. My slingshot! I am going hunting for lizards. Saw one at the corner of the ceiling in the living room. Took my aim. Inhale. Let go.
Bullseyes! The lizard fell down onto the floor and tried to escape. Unfortunate, for I was ready to hit it with the broom in my hand. Too bad. Had it not made that iritating sound, it might still be able to go smooching every Tom, Dick and Harry of its own kind up there on the ceiling.
Goodbye! To the sightseers, don't mess up with me!
I hate lizards!
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
I was born in Kajang, but raised in Port Dickson. As far as I know, on my father's side, we do not have any relatives living close to us, except for my uncle who came all the way from Penang with his family to start a living here. But things aren't always nice to look at. Sometimes when envy and selfishness filled our heart, we could turn into monsters without feelings. No mercy. I don't wish to relate here what happened about more than 20 years ago when I was still a teenager. But sufficient to mention here that the feud between both family (or more accurately, the fight between brothers --> my father and my uncle) was so powerful, its impact was disastrous. It torn both family apart and resulted in as if we were living amongst strangers. They were my close relatives. We were supposed to look after each other and to protect every family members from outside danger. But what happened was the opposite. Anger, jealousy, envy and hatred for each other filled their lungs everyday, but none of these feelings were shown openly because my father was sick.
In 1997, on the day my father passed away, thruth revealed its painful colours of black and ashy grey. My mother was blamed for his death, accusations were thrown at her face. My siblings were also treated badly. I couldn't believe my sister when she said our cousin threatened to kill her one day. The other also warned he will burn my family alive...For God's sake, what has got into their heads?
Because warnings after warnings, threats after threats kept flooding my family, we decided to move out from Port Dickson and seek for new place we could call home. Soon my brothers started to become disoriented. They skipped school and spent a lot of time trying to figure out what they've lost and became scattered everywhere. My sisters also quit schools to search for jobs, to earn for a living. My mother started becoming dreamy, she used to talk alone, sometimes cried quietly and sometimes just let herself lost in deep trance.
I cried when my sister told me of these nightmares. I was not there when such bad situations befallen them. I was in the UK, struggling hard to finish my degree. I wish I could turn back time so that I could protect my family, especially my mother, from these monsters.
The year when I was expecting my first child, I heard the news that my uncle passed away. That was 2 years after the loss of my father. I went to visit my uncle's grave which is very much close to my father's. For as long as I can remember, I didn't do what people would normally do at the grave, reciting surahs and doas for the demised ones. I was standing straight and staring blankly at the tombstone. The only thing uttered from my mouth was...
Thursday, 1 October 2009
JUNE - I was conveyed with a sad news that my PhD proposal was not doable. After 2 whole years struggling to dig out the root cause and provide study justification, the verdict was simple - abandon the case study.....I tried to cry, but could not make the tears flow down my cheek. I tried to smile a bit in hope it could do me some good, but that was hopeless too. As a result, at the end of the day, I just stared blankly at the wall. My mind was elsewhere I could not identify the place.
Later the same day I received a call. My husband was involved in an accident. He was riding his motorbike when suddenly a car overtook him carelessly and hit him at the front tyre. According to him, suddenly he was "flying" and then turned an acrobatic performing "somersault" on the road, trying to protect himself when the bike crashed to the ground. The news stopped my breath for several times. As I rushed home, I kept praying that there's no serious injury involved. By the time I arrived, he was watching TV, his hands and legs bandaged, some parts were swollen and reflected darker skin tone. I felt his body trembling when I touched him. He tried to smile but it looked awful. That night he mumbled something in his sleep. He was in trauma.
It took me two weeks to attend to his needs and dress his wounds every morning and night. I did not touch my journals and research was at a dead end. I have to forget all about study for now. My husband is my priority.
JULY - The heavy rain accompanied with lightnings and thunders brought another bad episode in my life. One of the strikes hit the switch board of the automatic gate, damaging the whole thing and jamming the gate. Not only that, my LAN connector at the laptop was also hit that it is now no longer working. And finally, when the cold days of heavy rain finally came to an end and the sun shone to its brightest, we were awfully disappointed to find out that the air-conditioning unit in the master bedroom was also affected by the lightning and was not functioning. Gosh! What else could be worse than this?
- AUGUST - One morning, a call came in from my brother-in-law. He conveyed to me the news of my sister who has been admitted into Subang Jaya Medical Centre (SJMC) due to severe pain in the stomach. Later, the result came from the doctors confirmed that she has some kind of a tumor growing so big in her intestine and that it had 'exploded' and bled badly. The next day, she underwent an operation to remove the tumor. The next two weeks I spent my time visiting her at the ward and trying to cheer her up a bit. She was shocked with the news that she has cancer and did nothing but cried and cried and cried. My heart was torn in two seeing her in such condition. I want her well again, be happy with her family and continue her life as usual. We kept looking for other treatment options that could cure the cancer and avoid chemotherapy sessions. Finally, the result from another test by SJMC came to us as good news - she is free from cancer. Alhamdulillah! O Allah! You are the Almighty! I know You listen to our prayers. Thank you!
- SEPTEMBER - Finally, the fasting month of Ramadhan visited us again this year as has been the case every year. I have always been looking forward for Ramadhan to come. Anxiously. Waiting for the very moment to meet and greet someone I really miss so much. This is the time I when I could cry, I could spill out all my feelings, be it happy or sad, I could feel as if all my prayers all this while are being heard, this is the time when I fully surrender my soul to The Creator and ask for forgiveness for my sins....
I am so grateful I am still given the chance to cherish the fasting month of Ramadhan this year...
Thus, my family and I spent each day peacefully, the love we have for each other bound us closer that there's a tie that is so strong nothing could break it. I was happy. Nothing could explain my happiness at this moment. At dawn we ate shahur together, we fasted during the day and carried out our tasks dutifully and gathered around the table again at dusk to break fast together. We went to the mosque for Maghrib and Isya' jama'ah, then continued with tarawikh and tadarus until midnight. I feel so peaceful with the warmth of love growing and surrounding the family....
But then again Allah wanted to test our patient and faith in Him. On the 13th day of Ramadhan, I have to rush my husband to the hospital after shahur after he complained of severe stomachache and crumpled to the floor. He has ureteric and kidney stones (batu karang di salur kencing & buah pinggang)!! A computerised tomography (CT) scan at Kajang Specialist Hospital (KPJ) confirmed this. Saying so, he was admitted into the hospital for almost (plus/minus) 2 harrowing weeks. It caused him severe pain and resulted in blood in urine.
- OCTOBER - Families have been the strong support for his fight to recover from such mischief, especially my parents-in-law who have patiently waited by his side everyday and watched him recover. I know my husband as a very determined person. He has strong will to survive. Two days before Eid Mubarak celebration, he walked out of the hospital, headed for home, to his family, a smile of relief in his face. The children were eager to see their father after a long time he has been missing from home. Even our maid cried when she saw him. This would be the sweetest Eid Mubarak celebration for me.
... I cherish these moments in life....
Thursday, 30 July 2009
I took the medication prescribed by the doctor only for the first 2 days. I was in pain, so the doctor gave me something to reduce it. But then I realised by taking the medicine I couldn't even open my eyes to read. So I stopped taking the pills. The pain came back, but I'd rather endure it than turning myself into a zombie that lost its way back home in the broad daylight. Nevertheless, I feel sad, depressed and lonely. Being immobile really restrict my ability to move around and do things as usual. I could easily get tired, my hands and knees hurt like h*ll trying to support and balance my slow movement at home. Gosh!
I used to cry during my visits at the hospital because his condition was so unbearable and full of pain. He had to undergo 3 different operations to clean up the "crushed bones" in his leg, hand and his back and to replace them with titanium. It took him about 9 months to be able to move his hands and right leg. Unfortunately, his left leg remain paralyse till now. Despite his strong will to get back on his feet and walk again, he is now another member of "OKU".
The strong spirit and effort that he has in him had never stopped him from going anywhere he wants. He can now drive alone to where ever he wants to go. He still sees some friends either for small chats or for business deals. I met him several times during family occassions. He might not be able to walk like a normal person, but he is as strong and as cheerful as before. So why must I feel sad and depressed for what happened to me? It's just a matter of ONE fractured bone. I am far more lucky than him.
After all, it's a reminder from Allah that I might have committed sin and should immediately repent to Him.
To abang Jaafar, I admire you for your perseverance and strong will to recover. I wish I have that such spirit in me to continue fighting.
May Allah bless you always
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
What a long time since I last wrote in this blog.....
I have been busy juggling with study, family and personal matters. Earlier this month I was beheaded at the proposal defence session at the university. It was the scariest moment of the entire PhD life so far for me. It was the time when nothing works well with me, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on the things I'm working on, I can't hear the sounds around me, my brain turned numb for many days.... Gosh! This is even worse than experiencing the midlife crisis!!!
Well, of course it was actually my own feelings and perception that made me behave like that. the session was a good one, honestly. And I received lots of encouraging feedback and suggestions to further enhance my study. No so bad after all...!
Soon after the session ended, I went back and packed all my things. The whole family went to Port Dickson for a holiday at the Legend Water Chalet. It's one of the newest fascinating place out of KL to go for a break and "lepak-lepak" till very late at night.
The hotel main building was erected by the sea side and our room emerged on the surface of the sea water. I celebrated my 37th birthday there. It was a nice treat, birthday cake, gift, kisses, hugs, photos, games, dinner, live band performance on stage, more gifts, laughter, strolling, relaxing....
Oh! By the way, the room rate was RM580 per night, so we spent only 2 nights there and checked out on the third day. Too expensive for an average person like me! I wonder how much money I would have to spend for a night stay at the Burj Hotel in Dubai. Perhaps I will have to put my house and car on sale just to be able to afford the "third class" room. People are willing to pay such a huge amount for some "reputable hotel atmostphere". Why? After all, you can't stay there forever, can you?
No matter how far you've traveled, you'll find your way back to your HOME SWEET HOME.....
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Saturday, 24 January 2009
I was eight months pregnant and was visiting the doctor for my weekly check-up when suddenly the doctor said she detected some pattern of contraction of the muscle. Well, I've had this false alarm for almost everyday now in the past three weeks, therefore I did not suspect that this morning's contraction is stronger than the usual ones. As a result, I was warded. 10.00 a.m. in the morning, I was asked to change my clothes and replace them with the hospital gown, pushed on a wheel chair into the labour room, transferred to a bed and asked to lie down and relax.
I took her to see the paeditrician at least once a month. I have been doing this for almost two years of her life. I needed to make sure she has really, really recovered. I don't want any complication to emerge in future.
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
The phone battery was long time ago dead. Thinking about my husband who would sure be worried about me coming home late at night, I packed all my things and left. It was a bit scary imagining I was alone at the faculty. Total silent. No one was around.
As I have expected, there were not so many cars on the road at this kind of hours. I turned on the radio and drive home slowly. Later came a four wheel drive from nowhere, tailing behind me so close that I think it could kiss my rear if it came any closer. I do not know what's the intention of the driver to follow me in the left lane when he can actually change to the right lane and speed up. This mad driver continued to follow me closely for about nearly ten minutes!
What irked me so much was this 4WD's head lamp. The driver has modified the car and changed the headlamp to a sort of bright white and blueish colour (like neon) that could light up the road miles ahead of the vehicle! Because that 4WD was modified to be "taller" than my "lowered" MPV, the bright light from its head lamp shot straight into my eyes through the rear mirror and affected my sight. How inconsiderate!
What type of driver that need to have this bright neon-like light to be able to drive at night? A BLIND DRIVER!!!! The answer might be absurd, but it is self-explanatory. This kind of drivers never cared for other people on the road. They think they are trying to avoid accidents by replacing the standard, dim, yellowish light. They claimed they have better sight at night with brighter light. But what about other drivers? The people they are tailing? The drivers from the opposite direction? Being inconsiderate and selfish on the road could cause accidents. They should have known this from the very first time they held the steering and started the engine.
I could not count how many times I cursed him along the way. If I were driving a 10-tonne lorry, I would sure have hit the brake hard and stop abruptly and let the 4WD bang my rear. At least his stupid head lamp would be broken. That would teach him a good lesson. You kiasu, I kiasi! Watchaaaaaaa....!
But I am not that type of driver. I dont support road bully. Though within one semester of my routine driving to the faculty and back home, I received at average 3 to 4 speeding tickets, I've never done any harm to other road users. My more that 20 years driving record is accident-free, because I am not selfish. I think about others too. In other words, I am a considerate driver.
Well, let's get back to the 4WD driver with his stupid neon-like bright head lamp. After a while driving and cursing at the same time, I decided to take alternative route by exiting the highway. Once I've exited, since there was no other vehicle on the road, I slowed down to observe the 4WD driver who continued driving on the highway. Hell, he was on the phone all this while! No wonder why he tailed me at the left lane without even bother to overtake me on the right lane!
Within a night's drive, he made three offences: (1) tailing so close to the car infront (2) using bright light head lamp that could affect the sight of front driver and (3) using handphone while driving. He should definitely be banned from using the road for quite some time.
Think about others when you drive. Think about your loved ones. Nobody would want to be hurt or die in an accident. Be considerate. Dont be a BLIND DRIVER! Have a safe journey always.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Monday, 19 January 2009
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
1 x 1 = 11
Thursday, 15 January 2009
It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now..
I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said,
'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'
I held back my tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did. Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
My name is Normawati Non. I am from Selangor, Malaysia. I am 36 years old, happily married and blessed with three lovely children. I was raised in quite a big family, there seven siblings altogether, 4 girls and 3 boys and I am the eldest. My late father was a tanker driver with Shell and my mother was a house wife.
Because there were so many of us having to stay in the same small living room of our house, we use to have the same hobby to pass our free time - wrestling! Sometimes we bled ourselves, just to feel the satisfaction of winning the fight. Mom couldnt say anything anymore, because once we started fighting, there's no way of stopping us. Dad? He acted as if we were not there at all. Hahaha... those were during our sweet childhood. I was only 15 then. Well, I never won the battle, honestly. My second sister claimed the championship as usual because she's of bigger size.
We had to work hard for a living. Dad was always sick. He had cronic diabetes. I had to earn my own tuition fees and pocket money to continue diploma. My second sister worked at KFC to pay her hostel expenses at the boarding school. My third sister worked at Singer as salesperson. We were all scattered everywhere. Whoever has the skills of survival, will get to enjoy extra money for a bit of luxury.
But we never regret what happened. I believe there's a blessing in disguise. Everything happened for a reason. Had it not been because of our hard working attitude during childhood, we might have been spoilt teenagers and might not ended up as happy as who we are right now. Well, we still fight now, in a different way, as adults, of course, but the sour faces and red eyes and swollen lips didnt normally last long. The bond we have are strong, it's difficult to break.
Dear dad, only if you were with us this moment. You'll be happy too. Mom's a tough woman, she's been through good and bad times together with us. Thanks mom. You're the greatest of all.