Saturday, 29 December 2012

The fear factor: Bdellophobia

I have just had a bath and was drying myself in front of a mirror in the bedroom when I saw, through the mirror, a big black spot on my thigh. I took a closer look at the black spot and saw it squirming.

As far as I can remember, that was the loudest scream I have ever made in my entire life. I shouted for help while jumping up and down in the room, obviously forgotten that I was only clad in a towel.
Mom came in to rescue me.  When I showed her the black, wriggling thing on my thigh with my eyes tightly shut, to my surprise, she screamed too! Because there was no one else in the house at that time except for my two younger sisters and a baby brother (my father was at work), we did not know what to do.

“Oh mom! I’m gonna die! I am definitely going to die!”
I cried my heart out, still jumping, while mom frantically tried to find a stick to remove the black spot. It was a leech. A huge one!

After about half an hour or so, the leech was finally detached from my skin. Not because mom kept poking it with a skewer (Yeah, that’s right. OMG!) but because it had drained up all my blood and now it felt a bit dizzy with this non-stop jumping activity of the host so it decided to take a leap of faith from high above and landed a splat on the floor. Looks like suicide to me.
That was my first encounter with a leech. I was only ten then. Apparently, the incident left a remarkably scary impression of a ferocious blood-sucking beast in my mind until… yesterday.

We had a family gathering yesterday at my sister-in-law’s house. We ate, talked and laughed merrily.  The whole night was all about food, politics, movie, gadgets, and futsal too. After some while, my SIL brought out a plastic container wrapped nicely in a black plastic bag. When asked what was inside the container, she took it out and showed the content to everyone – LEECHES. Very alive and aggressive too. The sight of the leeches gave me goose bumps. It reminded me my horrible experience with a leech long time ago.
“Anybody wanna have this leeches suck up your dirty blood and perhaps solve some of your health problem?” She offered.

“Such as what?” I asked.
“Sinus, migraine, pimples, pus, delicate backache, gout, in short, anything associated with dirty blood”
 [photo courtesy of Encyclopaedia Brittanica]

I have heard about medicinal leeches used in reconstructive surgery, or for treating abscessess, painful joints, glaucoma, and in some cases, microvascular surgery (more information here).   But honestly, I am not sure if this curing method using leeches to suck impure blood as suggested by my SIL would work. Even if it really works, I have doubts that only doing it once will instantly solve the health problem. I believe it needs to be done repetitiously in order to see results. Just like we repetitiously take antibiotics to cure influenza. As a matter of fact, the main application of medicinal leeches in modern medicine is to help with blood circulation and to prevent blood clot during major surgery. So how does sucking dirty blood from a person’s temple help him/her get rid of his/her migraine problem?  *scratch head*
Anyway, with a different objective in mind, I decided to let these blood-sucking slimy squirmy little creatures with powerful jaw sink their sharp, devilish teeth to do what they do best: suck blood! (credits go to Hugh Laurie from House for giving me a lesson or two on using magical sarcastic words!) Not to cure any illness in me, but to overcome Bdellophobia: the fear of leeches.

So here are the pictures of the medicinal leeches sticking at the back of my hubby (always the best model for a photography session!) and sucking on the so called impure blood of his to cure backache.

Also here is the picture of my SIL’s husband who threw a ceremonial feast for the spineless creatures all night long to cure his sinus. LOL.

Just look at the fantastic incision made by a medicinal leech. It has a strong tripartite jaw and hundreds of tiny teeth that cut into the skin in a sawing motion and leave behind an incision mark in the form of inverted Y within a circle. Neat!  

[photo courtesy of Carsten Morkel]

At the end of the session, I figured out that the word ‘fear’ is not so suitable for me because it’s not the feeling of fear of leeches that I felt inside me. It’s more of the disgusting feelings of ‘ewh’ and ‘yucky’ that overwhelm me when I encounter these creepy-crawlies and that include maggots and caterpillars too.

 And oh! By the way, the picture below is the bag of dirty blood from 7 people in the family sucked by about 20 leeches altogether. Can you see the mouth of the leech [enlarge the pic] within the plastic bag?  Yucks!

In conclusion, I am brave enough to say that I am not afraid of leeches after all. But one thing I am totally sure, I am afraid of my creator, Allah The Almighty.

Sunday, 9 December 2012

The big bad wolf strikes again!

Thriller. Fiction. Romance. Murder. Architecture. Design. Contemporary arts. Politics. Health. Beauty. Hobby. Marketing. Photography. Bibliographies. Travel. Cookery. Business. Bla..bla..bla.. etc. etc. etc. *sigh*

This happens at The Big Bad Wolf (BBW) book sale held at the Mines International Convention Centre (MICC) from 7th to 23rd December 2012, from 9am to 9pm. This is the second year BBW holds such event. The organiser claims that this is the biggest book sale in the world with over three million book titles offered at unbelievably low prices. Well, firstly, I do believe it. I have never seen so many books in my life. Secondly, the books are definitely cheap! Novels of RM30 to RM40 normal retail price are selling at RM5 to RM8 only! Thirdly, name what you want and you'll find it here!

The best part? For the first three days, the organiser is holding a non-stop 72-hour rally to attract as many visitors to the sale. I went there at 11pm on the first day. There was a massive traffic jam just outside the exhibition centre as people stormed in and looked for parking spaces. Either the car park are limited in numbers or there were too many visitors jamming the place simultaneously.

The exhibition hall was packed with book lovers. Would you believe that many visitors came with suitcases and even supermarket trolleys (where on earth did they get those trolleys from??? arrghh!!!) These people must have experienced the "aura" from last year's sale so they came well prepared this year.

After about four hours wandering in this big area, my legs could not stand straight anymore. Hubby has long surrendered at one corner of the hall, so I assigned him as "the bookkeeper". Hahaha! We were all tired of walking, but even then, we estimated that we have covered only about 70% of the floor area. Oh! This is what I call heaven on earth. I ended up buying 37 books, mostly English novels, each at a flat price of RM8 only. The children got some educational books for themselves too.

We went back at nearly 5am the next day. We thought by that time most people would have gone home but we were wrong. More have just arrived to join the crowd! There were long queues at all six paying counters.

Well, here are what we brought home that morning. Two boxes full of books! Now I am having difficulty to choose which book to read first....

Well, it seems like the big bad wolf isn't so bad after all...

Friday, 9 November 2012

Rain, rain, go away...

"It is Allah Who hath created the heavens and the earth and sendeth down rain from the skies, and with it bringeth out fruits wherewith to feed you; it is He Who hath made the ships subject to you, that they may sail through the sea by His command; and the rivers (also) hath He made subject to you".
Surah Ibrahim: ayah 32

The northeast monsoon is here again. It brings a lot of rains day and night, especially to the east coast states such as Terengganu, Kelantan and Pahang. The usual expectation is to see severe floods that emerge overnight that would force thousands of families to evacuate their homes and end up stranded either at relief centres or the community halls for days, even weeks. In the past 50 years a lot have been sacrificed by the flood victims: personal belongings, homes, livestock, and to some extent their own lives. Children could not go to school. Clean drinking water become scarce. Diseases easily spread. Theft. Sorrow. Depression. Uncertainty.

A flood victim fleeing with his cat and goose.  Picture courtesy of

The flood relief centre.  Picture courtesy of

Flood scene in Kelantan.  Picture courtesy of

Where I live at present, heavy downpour is no exception. But we here in the west coast are more fortunate.  I have never experienced severe flood yet in my life [of which I am so thankful]. There were of course several incidents of flash floods due to clogged drain somewhere in the city but often there were no needs of home evacuation.  Still, life could suddenly become so complicated when it rains. One drop of water falling from the sky would result in massive traffic jam everywhere in Klang Valley.

It is so bad that sometimes to reach a place so near would take a good hour when you'll only spend under 10 minutes if you walk. Recently in the middle of this madness I passed by a car static on the road with its engine still running and the driver fast asleep, obviously he did not hear the noises of other motorists honking him. Perhaps he is too tired being stuck in the jam. Poor guy!

Rain could be problematic to some people, but it is actually a rahmah (blessing) from Allah to all His subjects.

Only if we knew it...

"The seven heavens and the earth, and all beings therein, declare His glory: there is not a thing but celebrates His praise; And yet ye understand not how they declare His glory! Verily He is Oft-Forbear, Most Forgiving!"  
Surah Al-Isra: ayah 44 

I just wish everyone is safe.

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Dear Robin of Sherwood ...

There are so many things about my son Muhammad Irfan that I have not shared here in this blog. For example, last year he has managed to obtain 5As in his UPSR exam (a very important examination that determines a placement at a secondary school). Today he goes to one of the top boarding schools in Malaysia. ALHAMDULILLAH. All his hard works have been rewarded handsomely by The Almighty. Our prayers, as parents, were answered.

His school, Sekolah Menengah Agama Persekutuan Kajang (SMAPK), holds the 'School of Excellence' status, granted by the Ministry of Education and its niche is in this one particular sport: Archery. For those who do not know, archery in Malaysia is considered an elite sport because very few schools make avail the facilities and equipment, due to the fact that they involve expensive investments. Surprisingly, many of Malaysia's talented archer originate from this school!

Irfan, somehow, has fallen in love with this game too. He is at present actively practising the proper techniques and skills and has improved tremendously since we bought him his very own archery set. I attach here some of his photos during training. I had never imagined that he will one day represent Malaysia in an international tournament, but who knows what will happen in the future, ya? There is beauty in Allah's secrets.

So dear Robin of Sherwood,
                                           Be afraid. Be very afraid...!   LOL.

Monday, 8 October 2012

Oh! Life...!

Last Friday when I sent my car to a workshop for some routine maintenance, the foreman told me his schedules were tight, so I have to leave the car overnight and come back Monday morning to pick it up. Reluctantly, I gave him the car keys and left the place, walking towards the main road. I made a quick call to my husband to fetch me, told him I’ll be waiting by the road side at an open area that resembles a mini park.

I waited about 45 minutes for him to come and rescue me. Well, you know, this waiting game could really test your mental stability and tire you out, especially when you've had a hard day at work.

So I was thinking....How nice it is to be able to relax under the trees, with gentle breeze stirring the air and the sound of birds chirping from the tree tops (apart from the sound of the engines roaring on the road...)

I sat on the grass and my brain tricked me for sitting on a thick, soft rug...Ahh... so calm and peaceful...

As I was about to doze off to the music of the nature suddenly this naughty baby porcupine (did I tell you earlier I was not alone?) poked my eyes with her fingers! Yes, you read that right, she poked my eyes!

“Ouch!!! What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Don’t sleep, mum!”

“Why not?”

“What if we get lost while you’re sleeping?”

Oh dear!


Wednesday, 12 September 2012


I am calmly lost in my own world. Stoned. Did not crack pot. But definitely high. At this stage, nothing surprise me anymore. Owh! So post-doc syndrome!

Just finished reading this very interesting book by Randa Abdel-Fattah. If she really spilt out facts on what every ordinary Aussie Muslim teenagers are facing to cope with faith and culture in life, then I need to think many times before I decide to take my family and migrate to Australia.

Should have explained more on what transpired in the book that had me glued to it 24/7. Perhaps not now. Lazy.

By the way, I've gone through my viva voce session on 3rd September recently. It was a two and a half hour session with all the senate members and examiners wore black hoodies and strapped ancient daggers to their chest and hummed "Killing Me Softly" as their opening ritual.

But yay!! I survived!


Friday, 29 June 2012

Valid reason

I love IKEA. The idea of a modern and organised lifestyle promoted by IKEA wins my heart. Specifically, I like best it's storing solutions for small spaces.
I have been persuading my husband to allow me go "window shopping" at IKEA. He did not say anything about not letting me go, but at the same time he also did not show any sign of approval either. So I waited, and waited, and waited patiently. And when he is in good mood, I reminded him again about my intention to "check new stock" at IKEA.
Still no respond from him, until today, when frying some eggs for breakfast, I accidentally burnt the turner. I told him I need to get a new one and that I ‘must’ have the usual IKEA brand.

Finally, he said yes.

Yay! IKEA here I come!

But when? Yet to confirm. I am a busy mommy! And going to IKEA means I’ll be spending 4 to 5 hours checking in detail everything on offer even though I have no intention to buy anything…

Going there just to buy a set of turner? Hmm… I’ll think about it later.
So what’s the point of trying hard to get the permission from dear hubby?



Thursday, 14 June 2012

Idle capacity

It feels as if I have just waked up from a long, long sleep.

About a month ago my ordeal finally ended (‘ordeal’ is a terrible word to use here… am I exaggerating things?). I have submitted my thesis for examination. Yay! Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah the Almighty!  After a 5-year struggle to complete the thesis, I am now only an inch away from being conferred with a doctoral degree. InsyaAllah.

Since submission, I did not do much. I was supposed to produce at least two research articles and send them to journal editors for publication. I didn’t do it. I have a follow-up appointment with the dentist. I didn’t turn up that day. I promised a close friend to have lunch together. That did not materialise as well. I told another friend I am going to arrange some flowers to liven up her new room at the faculty. I disappeared just like that. She may still be looking for me this very day. My ‘To Do’ list was untouched, even though it is quite a long list of things I wanted settled once I’ve completed study. Change the curtains, bake a cake, buy new clothes, update blog, read the newly bought novel, visit my sister, plant something in the garden, etc. etc. etc.

So what did I actually do at home? Nothing. I spent whole day either staring blankly at the TV or at a later stage, the TV took turn to stare back at me. The first week after thesis submission was the worst moment when my brain was not capturing properly what I’ve heard or saw or felt. When I walked, my feet did not touch the ground. I felt lightheaded I could float (wish I could fly). I forgot to brush my teeth in the morning. I wore my clothes inside out. I felt so lonely…empty….

A month before submission my life was upside down. There were reports to produce, data to re-test, tables and figures to insert in the appendices, list of references to check and confirm. Simultaneously, the children needed attention. Baby porcupine has somehow been accustomed to being left at home with her father, but baby koala was new in this game, therefore could not understand how it worked. He demonstrated his feelings by falling sick. Really sick. He needed his mother the most, but I was not there for him. My soulmate has forbidden me from coming home. He sent me away and prescribed me some orders: eat thesis, drink thesis, sleep thesis.

“By hook or by crook, finish the last sentence of your thesis and submit. Otherwise do not come home.”

I found a new friend. The whiteboard. I talked to the whiteboard at least once a day. Sometimes I saw a reflection in the whiteboard grinning at me. We had a serious fight one day when I warned it to stop gimmicking me but it refused. I threw a marker pen at it but the pen hit me back on the forehead.

I have been sleeping in the office for many days that once it ended I have forgotten my way back home. By the time I stepped inside the house, I saw a stranger in the kitchen, trying to retrieve tiny pieces of egg shells from the firing frying pan while the egg turned into dark, bitter cracker.  I hardly recognise him with those Osama bin Laden’s beard and Tom Selleck’s moustache and Bob Marley’s hair…Gosh!

When did your wife die?

Today, a month later, I have regained consciousness, memories, energy, love and hugs from each member of the family. Alhamdulillah, ya Allah. I am back on my feet again. Now my main task is to update the blog. Write again. This time as often as I can. As much as I’ve always wanted to. New day, new spirit.

 “Mummy, I am confused”

 Aliya, my 10-year old daughter came and shoved her school homework on my lap.

“What is it about?”

“This English language subject I learn in school. It’s confusing”


“Why do we call it a toothbrush or toothpaste when we know the brush or the paste is meant for more than one tooth? I mean, we don’t use it to clean only one tooth, right? Then why don’t we refer it as teethbrush or teethpaste? I think that makes more sense.”

**struck dumbfounded**

Friday, 13 April 2012

Senad Hadzic. A walk to remember.

Each year millions of Muslims make the annual pilgrimage to the Saudi city of Mecca.

The Hajj, as it is known, is still far away, this year it is in the end of October, but 47-year-old Senad Hadzic has already set off in that direction.

That is because he is on foot.

He started from his hometown in northern Bosnia back in December 2011 and is walking all the way to Mecca. The distance is about 3,600 miles from Bosnia to Mecca and he covers between 12 to 20 miles a day. And for the Geo Quiz we are asking you to tell us where he has reached now.

He has reached a waterway that separates Europe from Asia.

The Bosphorus, the waterway that divides Istanbul and Europe from Asia, is the answer to the Geo Quiz. Just before hitting the road again, Senad Hadzic proudly shows the meager contents of his backback. He’s got a Koran wrapped in plastic for protection against the elements, a bible, maps and flags of the six countries he plans to cross.

“To be honest, before i started on this trip, everybody was frightened for me, asking how will I, as a Muslim, be able to travel though Christian countries like Serbia and Bulgaria,” says Hadzic.

But he was never scared, he says. Traveling with very little money, Hadzic says he’s depended on the kindness of strangers for much of the 600 miles or so he’s walked so far.

“In Serbia, people came out on the street and gave me a hat, or some socks,” Hadzic says. “In one case, a professor in Serbia invited me to stay in his house. This Serbian professor, who was a Christian, told me that I was the first Muslim who had stepped in his house in his life. It was a great honor for me.”

Istanbul has presented a bit of a snag. He’s spent 20 days here, he says, trying to get permission to walk across the Bosphorus bridge connecting Europe to Asia. It’s only open to vehicles. Hadzic doesn’t even want to mention the details of how he got it resolved.

“I’ll tell you, this trip has had millions of problems,”Hadzic says. I’ll explain it to you like this: God willing, I’m going to enter Asia today, and then Syria. And I’m not afraid of a tank or a bullet, only God. And then when I get to Mecca I will say a prayer for all of us.”

When he finally leaves the hotel, he’s excited to be on his way. Wearing a reflector safety vest and a shabby backpack, with Bosnian and Turkish flags sticking out, it’s easy to see how his eccentric character endears him with many that he meets on his way.

“An old Turkish wise man appeared and when he saw that I came from Bosnia to Istanbul on two feet, he offered me the money to sit on an airplane and go directly to Mecca for the Haj,” Hadzic says. “But I rejected this.”

Hadzic says he must travel by foot because God told him to in a dream. His act of faith is not just for his own benefit but for everyone he meets along the way as well.

“By this act, I am proving that everything I do is for the love of God,” Hadzic says. “For all the riches in the world, I would never stop what I am doing.”

Walking through this city of 13 million, in a fitting parallel with his bizarre quest, we run into a group of Bosnian tourists. Hadzic is clearly well-known in Bosnia and doesn’t need an introduction. After pictures are taken and greetings exchanged, Hadzic is back on his own.

He’s not even half way there yet but Hadzic has already learned a lot.

“The point, my friend, is learning the meaning of ‘thank you’. The poor people who live in the countryside love God and support me with generosity. The rich people in the cities love their ATMs,” Hadzic says.

After walking the more than 500 miles from Istanbul to the Syrian border, Hadzic says he plans to continue through Syria. It’s a bit risky he admits, but with God’s help he says he won’t feel fear. He plans to wave a Syrian flag with the word “victory” written on it, and pray for the victims of the conflict.

Note: I do not think I'll be able to walk from Malaysia to Makkah. However, I do wish I have the courage and strength of this man to finish what I have started. Insya-Allah.

Have a nice weekends with your loved ones!

Friday, 6 April 2012

Friday, Al-Fatehah & tears


In the name of Allah, the most beneficent the most merciful.
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
The most beneficent, the most merciful.
The lord of the day of Judgement.
Thee alone do we worship and thee alone we seek for help.
Guide us to the right path.
The path of those upon whom thou has bestowed favors, Not of those who thou has cursed once nor of those who have gone astray.

Today I shed more tears than ever. Is it normal for ordinary person to feel sad and cry when looking at these pictures? Or is it only me becoming too emotional nowadays? Oh! Ya Allah! Please let our children survive this world under Your hidayat. I feel so helpless.

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Mourning for the death of knowledge

Gigapedia is officially gone.

I have been frequenting the website one too many times to get hold of some valuable textbooks that are hardly available in Malaysia. I even wrote a post on my Gigapedia experience in this blog some times ago.

Today when I decided to make another visit for another retrieval (a book once published in 1978!) I was shocked to learn that the virtual library was 'put to sleep' by some ugly old hags..! 

@#$%&*@#$) oh! crap!

More of the information on the closure of the website can be read here.

So that's the end of the free flow of knowledge all around the world. I once asked in my post, how on earth did this website manage to survive when many authors and publishers are labeling its act as piracy. I guess I've got the answer now. Pretty much too soon for me...

Goodbye Giga. To be more precise, goodbye to all the invisible but serious 'staff' of Will be missing you a lot, now that I do not know where to turn to for a fast solution to my textbooks problem.

* sigh! *

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

PhD as in permanent head damage???

 I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
yeah, how I used to be

How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be, how I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

funny pic and extract of lyrics of 'Unwell' by Robb Thomas googled this morning

Friday, 23 March 2012

Will you buy this?

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)

Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday
Office Hours Monday To Saturday:

Dear Beneficiary,

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is USD 14,000,000.00 due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current president of Nigeria His Excellency Goodluck Jonathan to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes.Now how would you like to receive your payment? because we have two method of payment which is by Bank transfer or by Visa ATM Card?

VISA ATM CARD: We will be issuing to you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to USD 3,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card or VISA Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 2 years time which is 2014. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Federal minister of finance: contact information federal minister of finance.

ATM card center
Name: Mr.Dave Steve
Phone: +234-803-489-1843
Contact Mr.Dave Steve of the ATM card centre with your information as follows:

Full name:



Direct phone / mobile number:

Current occupation:

Once you have sent the required information to Mr.Dave Steve he will contact you with instructions on how to make the payment of USD 350 for the approval slip after which he will proceed towards delivery of the ATM card without any further delay. you are hereby been authorized/guaranteed by the federal bureau of investigation to commence towards completing this transaction, as there shall be no delay once payment for the approval slip has been made to the authorized agent.

Once you have completed payment of USD 350 to the agent in charge of this transaction, immediately contact us back for more investigation for conformation of your ATM card. The both offices are working 24hours to get this project complete.

Yours in service,

Robert.s.Mueller iii
FBI director

Would you believe you can simply pluck USD14,000,000 out of nowhere just by following the instructions given, and that is by the FBI????

Saturday, 7 January 2012

A sparkling love story

Atuk:  Where is my glasses?

Nenek: How would I know? Where did you put it?

Atuk: It was here a while ago. Now its gone! Did you take it?

Nenek: No I didn't. Owh..!! What for? I dont need the glasses. I'm not blind like you!

Atuk: Look, woman. There are only the two of us in this house. If it wasn't me, then YOU must have take the glasses and put it somewhere else. You're so forgetful!

Nenek: Now, don't start with me, man! I've told you I didn't take it. I DIDN'T TAKE IT, understand??!!

Atuk: Oh! Pickles!

Nenek: You are the ugliest man I've ever found when you're angry!!!

I have always wanted to make myself as tiny as an ant when atuk (grandpa) and nenek (grandma) started their so called "fight". I tried the best possible to act as if I didn't hear their mind provoking conversations. If I have magic, I'd make myself invisible instantly. Sometimes such harsh conversation between them left an impression that they didn't like each other. But the funny thing was, they were married for more than 60 years! How can they stand each other for so long?


Atuk: This curry dish is tasteless!

Nenek: You need to gargle more often. Your tongue must has shortened a bit.

Atuk: That's ridiculous! I know a good dish once I smell it. Yours is tasteless.

Nenek: Then don't eat it.

Atuk: What, you want me to die of hunger now?

Nenek: Oh! Shut up and just eat, will ya???!!

And so they continued fighting while eating....

"Are they always fighting like that, mom?" I asked my mother one day.

"I don't know, honey. As far as I know, they love each other" mom shrugged her shoulder.

Atuk and nenek were not my real grandparents. Mom lost her parents when she was only 2 years old. Being an orphan at such a young age, she was taken care by her older sisters and brothers, in turn. That means, she did not stay at one place for long. When she got her first job as a nurse at a hospital downsouth, far away from home, she searched for an adopted family to live with.That's how she met atuk and nenek.

This couple have 7 children altogether, but felt pity for my mother so they took her as their own. Materially they are poor, but in their heart, they are the richest people. According to mom, the day I was born, nenek was the busiest woman making preparations with the tiny bed and bath and atuk was the happiest man announcing my arrival to everyone in the village and welcoming me into their house.

I grew up with them. As I became an ambitious, energetic teenager , they on the contrary gradually weakening. The day I left Malaysia for England to pursue my study, atuk's health condition has deteriorated badly. He passed away peacefully about three months after I delivered my eldest son. We were all sad.

Life was not the same anymore for nenek when her soulmate left. She has no one to argue with on pettty things in the house. The house turned so quiet as if nothing ever moved inside. Her sorrowness has taken toll on her health. We realised she was lonely, so we did all we can to make her happy. Her health regained, but not for long. Soon nenek was bedridden. She no longer talk to anyone. Mom said she was trapped in her own world. There was no sign of her coming back to reality.


Hubby: See my glasses anywhere?

Me: No.

Hubby: Help me find it.

Me: Oh! You've always lost your things! Glasses, car keys, pen, what else..?!

Hubby: Stop preaching! Just help me find it, okay! I'm in a hurry here.

Me: You are so becoming old and forgetful, hubby!

Hubby: I'm okay with that. I have you to take care of me (smile)


And he suddenly reminded me of atuk and nenek....

Similar arguments. Petty things. No hard feelings. Love thickening. Hugs. Grateful. Alhamdulillah.

Fighting and arguments are just the mix of spices of a married life. Now I understand what transpired between atuk and nenek long ago. I am experiencing the same. Funny, it doesn't hurt the feelings, instead, strengthen the love bonds between us. Mom kept reminding me on one thing few days before my wedding ceremony, 13 years ago. No matter how bad the fight was between you and your husband, at the end of the day both of you should resort to each other again, and the best place to do so is in the secrecy of your bedroom. Thanks mom. I appreciate the advice. It works as always.

Nenek followed atuk's path five years later. None of us her children and grandchildren could make her forget atuk.

May Allah forgive both of them, bless their souls and place them in His Jannah. Ameen.


Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Serious businesses coming 2012

I've gone through trials and hardships in 2011. Be it at home with the family or at the office with colleagues, I've been tested one too many times. Alhamdulillah, I've chewed heartily most of the big chunks and now is the time I can sit back, sip my favourite guava flavoured tea and relax. Don't get me wrong. My study is far from end yet. But I've done my part, now I am waiting for feedback from my supervisors. In the mean time, I get to spend some precious moments with the little ones: baby porcupine and the new baby koala. They are the joy of my life, the reason why I continue struggling even when I stumble down and bleed.

Come new year, I see brighter prospects waiting for me. Here are the things I want to see realised this year, InsyaAllah...

1 - To initiate some effort on losing weight and look fabulous again. I've ignored myself these past four years on other more important things in life, now I'd like to have some time for me and me only;

2 - To attend this year's convocation, climb up the stage and receive my scroll. MasyaAllah! After all these years, receiving the scroll with my name on it would be the sweetest moment to cherish;

3 - To concentrate on the paper works and other necesssary documents to establish a business I've put on hold for too long. I hope this is going to be a good year to start the business, InsyaAllah.

4 - To go travelling and see the world as much as I can. As a mattter of fact, my husband has made an arrangement for a family vacation during the first term school holiday. This will be the starting point for more adventurous travels in the future, insyaAllah.

5 - To take care and cater for the needs of my mother, for as long as she lives. I love her so much. Unfortunately I have neglected her for so long. I pray I'll be given a chance to be with her and make her happy.

Allah knows what is best for me. Alhamdulillah, life has been good. InsyaAllah, life will be better this year. Same goes to all my moslem brothers and sisters out there. May we all be successful, in this world and the world hereafter. Ameen.


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