Remembering the moment when....

I presume everybody knows I am a busy busy busy person. Regardless of my condition of being terribly heavy at the end of my trimester, carrying this huge belly everywhere I go, I still have a lot of things to do that refrained me from relaxing on the sofa with a cup of tea in my hand and watch my favourite movie. Oh no, no, no. Can't do that. If I did, then I would easily trigger the WW3. Have I not told you that C is my middlename? C for Chaos?

Well, a day before I unexpectedly gave birth to my tiny baby Muhammad Aiman, I was still climbing the stairs a the Business faculty, chasing several people that have influence on my future, trying to get their consent on a couple of things that need to be settled immediately. Come evening when most of the items in my Things To Do Today list have been attended to  (alhamdulillah!), I headed back to my room, planning to perform the Asr prayer there before I go home. That was the time I discovered my panties was covered with blood.  Oh! Panic! Panic! Panic! Must inform hubby. No, go to the hospital first. Oi! What about the children? Gosh, I've not prepared the baby's bag yet. Hey! There's a chewing gum under my shoes! @#*&%!!!!.........

If I could run, I would. If I could fly, that would be even better! 

At 7pm my husband took me to the hospital. After registration we were instructed to wait at the lobby while the staff allocate a room for me. While waiting, one by one, more pregnant ladies registered and waited with us. One of them already broke her water bag,  her sarong was all wet. Another lady was shaking at a corner for whatever reason I did not know. The lady who came in last was given priority, nurses saw baby's head already emerging. The situation at the waiting room was horrible to me. I say it was horrible because amidst the tense in the air, there I was sitting gaily like there was nothing to worry about!    

Why?

Because I did not feel any pain. I have no contractions. Masya-Allah! And I still believe the bloody panties was normal when a pregnant lady counted the number of stairs many times in a day. What more when the due date is still a long way to come. With confidence I told my husband that I am not going to give birth in the next 24 hours. I even persuaded him to take me home immediately. The blood was just a false alarm.

"No, you can't go home!" The doctor scolded me.  I turned sulky.

So I spent the night at the ward. It felt exactly like going on a vacation somewhere and staying in a hotel.  I ate, watched TV, read magazines and played with the air-conditioner remote control till I got bored and fell asleep.

Next morning when I woke up and wanted to perform Suboh prayer, I discovered more blood on the bed sheet. Called the nurse. She inspected me, went out and came back ten minutes later with three other nurses and prepared me for the labour room.

"You must be kidding me! I am not ready yet!" I grabbed the nurse's hand in surprise.

"Ready or not, here you go!" She smiled. 

An hour later, Muhammad Aiman was born......Alhamdulillah.

Here are the pics that my husband took when the baby came to the world.

He spent two days in the incubator because his lungs have not fully developed yet, which means he can't breathe on his own without support. Another five days in the infant nursery because he had prolonged jaundice due to his premature condition. He went home when he was a week old, greeted and welcomed by all the family members and relatives. Oh, so grand...!


p/s: I discovered later that the hospital admin had to call the wireman to repair the air-conditioner in the room that I stayed. It had not been working properly since I left the room.  *scratch head*

Like the deserts miss the rain...

I have been busy.

I have been busy juggling with the new baby, his sister the jealous porcupine, his other rebellious sister, his happy-go-lucky brother, last but not least... his quality-control father.

I have been busy with my thesis, seminar and conferences, publication, teaching workload.

I have been busy with the house chores. Cooking, washing, cleaning, blabbering, nagging...


On top of everything, I feel old, tired and perhaps rusty too. Start to snore when asleep. Capable of dozing off while mopping the floor.

This blog has been totally quiet and dead for the past four months. Even my followers ran away one by one. I used to have 47 followers, three were struck with boredom so they ran off leaving the other 44 still contemplating either to follow suit or show some pity and stay. And within these four months of being absent, I later discovered that I've missed too many things about my dearie sister bloggers.

I feel so bad.
Please forgive me.

Missed you much. All of you. That's for sure.




Please remember me in your duas. I need strength to finish my thesis. Just a li'l bit more.

Just a li'l bit more.....

Wassalam.

A quiet celebration

The love of my life celebrates his birthday today.

No birthday wishes,

no cake,

no surprises,

no gifts,

no family gathering.

Just a long stare at each other 

and sweet smiles,

and some understanding.

And many,

many,
many,

 silent prayers for him.

I love him with all my heart...

While I was away...part 5/5 - Don't do this to me, baby!

“How is she now?” I asked one of the teachers who was helping my daughter to stand up. Aida Amani has been lying on the carpet of the nursery for quite some times, I was told.


“She has recovered, Alhamdulillah” replied the teacher.

I observed that she has put on fresh clothes.

“She vomited in her sleep. We have to clean her and change her clothes.” So that answered my question.

“Thank you, teacher.” I smiled to the teachers and took baby porcupine home.

Along the way Aida was quiet in the car. Her face was pale and her lips have no colour. But she was happy I came to fetch her home. She smiled, but I know she was tired. I thanked Allah, earlier today I suddenly canceled my plan to go to the office, or else I’ll not be able to fetch baby porcupine from the nursery.

As soon as we reached home, Aida Amani walked across the living hall straight to the TV couch and immediately lied down.

“Get some rest. You should sleep, baby. I’ll prepare your milk.”

In half an hour’s time, baby porcupine was fast asleep on the couch. I put my hands on her forehead, then under her armpit and her neck, trying to sense if she had fever. Nope, the temperature was normal. No sign of fever. Then why did she vomit in her sleep? To make sure that I was right, I took the thermometer and tested again. Negative.

I suddenly remembered that in the haste to fetch baby porcupine at the nursery I have forgotten to say my Zuhr prayer. Touching my growing belly, I contemplated either to climb the stairs and perform solat in my bedroom or simply perform it downstairs at the living hall. Well, considering that baby porcupine was not feeling well, I decided to pray at the hall, so much closer to her.

“Ya Allah, I am so tired today. I wish I could get some rest and leave everything behind.”

I was still on the prayer mat, sighing and praying silently to The Almighty, surrendering only to Him, seeking for His help. I was lost in trance for a few minutes, only to see baby porcupine waving her left hand towards me when I opened my eyes again.

“Baby?”

Aida Amani did not respond. It is funny to see her waving like that with her eyes shut tight.

“Baby, can you hear me? Are you okay?” I called again.

This time baby porcupine opened her eyes. Surprisingly, her wide-opened eyes stared at the ceiling and her body started shaking wildly. I panicked. I can sense something was terribly wrong. I dashed towards her and kept calling her again and again, but she did not seem to hear me. When I touched her I found out that her body was stiff. AllahuAkhbar!!! What happened to her?

I did not know what to do. I started to cry hysterically, at some times my voice turned uncontrollably loud. I tried to make her sit up, but she fell on her back almost immediately as if she has no backbones! So again I shrieked. By now both her eyes were all white and there were bubbles coming out of her mouth. With all the energy that was left in me, I lifted her up and tried to carry her to the bathroom. Halfway, my stomach started to feel painful. I have forgotten that I was pregnant. I have to put her down.

Aida was lying motionless on the floor, only a few feet from the bathroom. I shook her body, called her names and even slapped her twice in effort to make her gain consciousness. None of it worked. I collapsed beside her, tears were streaming my eyes that I can’t see clearly. Suddenly I thought of my husband. I dialed his office number frantically, and once when I heard his voice on the other end, I talked and cried at the same time, so bad that he did not understand a word I said.

Useless attempt.

Trying to tell him what happened when I myself could not understand what I was saying was tormenting. I threw the phone away. Again, I tried to lift up Aida Amani, the only thing I have in mind then was to bathe her with cold water. I didn’t know why that came across my mind and I didn’t even now if it is the right thing to do, but somehow I must try something.

Something else happened. In her state of being unconscious, I saw vomit started to come out from her mouth and nose. A lot of it!!! I screamed my lungs out. I got up on my feet and immediately dragged her to the bathroom, leaving behind the trails of vomit along the way. Then I saw something else. Together with the vomit, there was also urine. She urinated! Ya Allah! What is happening to my child?

In the bathroom, I tried to make her sit on the floor but failed. I have to bathe her while she was lying on the floor. I kept screaming her name and told her to stay with me. Her clothes were all wet. She shivers. Yet I knew she was unconscious.

The doorbell rang. I rushed to open the door. Three of my closest neighbours came to help. They told me my husband called and asked them to check on me and see if everything is alright.

“No! it’s not alright! I don’t know what happened to my baby!” I cried.

Sister Azila hugged me and comforted me, while sister Diya and brother Fadzil went to the bathroom and took care of baby porcupine. They replaced her wet clothes with a new one. Brother Fadzil then carried her to his car and took her to the hospital. They acted so fast. I am grateful to them three till this very day.

At the emergency room, the MO and several other staff started to run some tests on Aida Amani. They took her vomit and blood samples, checked her eyes, monitored her body temperature and some other stuff I don’t understand to explain here. Later a pediatrician came to see me. The test results were in his hands.

“How long has she been unconscious?” he asked.

“About five minutes or so.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Why are you asking, doctor?”

“Her temperature when she arrived here was 42 degree Celsius. That was extremely high. We adults could not tolerate a temperature that high, what more a child like her. It if happened more than ten minutes, your daughter could have brain damage.”

I stared at the doctor’s face. My mind was blank.

“But you did the right thing to reduce her temperature when you bathe her. Good work.”

“But doctor, I’ve checked on her temperature earlier. It was normal.”

The doctor then explained to me that when a patient’s body temperature rise higher than 38 or 39 degree Celsius, the brain will produce a signal that resulted blood vessels to shrink. Less blood will be pumped to reach beneath the skin. As a result, body temperature will appear normal as if patient has no fever. The use of ordinary thermometer could not detect the high temperature. Only thermometers with high sensitivity can detect it accurately.

“At home without the thermometer, what you can do is touch her hands and feet and see if they are cold. I mean, very cold. In your daughter’s case, the hands and feet have already changed colour to blue black because there’s no blood circulation. Even her lips have turned black. Did you not notice that?”

Masya-Allah. That was totally new to me. I didn’t know what to look for in this kind of situation, so I did not notice any of these changes on Aida. In addition, none of the family members had ever have such experience. She's the first to have it. Poor baby porcupine.

Later my husband arrived at the hospital. I immediately broke down again when I saw him. Who cares what people around me would think when they saw me crying like a baby? I was too emotional. What happened at home just now was something that will haunt me forever.

"We have reduced her temperature. She is okay for now, but she has to be admitted. We need to monitor her from time to time." The doctor left us to sit with our daughter for a while before a nurse came and arranged to send her to a ward.

And so my baby porcupine was admitted for ten days. Ten harrowing days of her life when she battled with the rise and fall of her temperature. At times she sat up in bed and asked for food and toys, at other times she just laid flat unmoved as if asleep. Alhamdulillah, she showed good progress every day. Baby porcupine is a strong fighter. I did not dare leave her side, so I stayed in the same room like a squatter. Oh! Gosh! Every inch of my body ached!

I understand now what attacked my daughter was something common for children at the age between 6 months to 6 years old. She experienced what is termed as febrile fits. Uprolling eyeballs, drooling of saliva, vomiting, urinating are the normal symptoms of febrile fits. This type of fever could be repetitious, which means, it could attack again in future. Immediate action must be taken to reduce the temperature. To my relief, I also get to know that such attack normally is not dangerous. But parents need to be extra careful, because the same symptoms explained above could also indicate the existence of meningitis, which is of course deadly.

When I write this post, I was sitting at the same TV couch where Aida was attacked with fits while she was sleeping. It was like a movie being replayed in my mind, I could clearly see myself desperately trying to wake her up and hopelessly crying when everything I tried resulted in only more panic discoveries.

It was painful. I don't want to go through it again. Ever.

Aiman has arrived...!

While I was away...part 4/5 - Pimp my ride Malaysian version!

http://www.mtv.com/shows/pimp_my_ride/season_5/series.jhtml

I've mentioned in my previous post that our good neighbour whom we depended on to send and fetch our children to and from school has migrated to Melbourne, Australia recently. We have to find another alternative as a mean of transportation for the children and we have to find it fast so that the problem won't affect the children and their study. The children can actually take the bus to school, but my worry is on the prolonged hours they will have to spend on the journey as the school bus make its rounding to cover several big residential areas. Actually I've tried the school bus before, but pity the children, they only reached home after Maghrib adhan was over. By the time they have cleaned themselves and sat for dinner it was almost 9pm. They were then so tired that they fell asleep even before they managed to finish the food in their plates!!!

The only way to solve this problem is to send and fetch them ourselves, but that would need us to get another car because I drive our mpv to work everyday and I can't reach home on time to fetch the children from school. My husband, who prefers to ride his motorbike wherever he goes, can reach home much earlier, but without a car he simply can't bring them home, unless he train his children how to become circus monkeys performers.

I can't imagine seeing my husband and children riding on a bike like this.....
Pic taken from Nissan Grand Livina hillarious advertisement on TV.


But alhamdulillah, truly Allah provides us with all our needs if we asked from Him in our duas. It so happened that one day, another neighbour told us he wanted to sell his old car because he wanted to buy a new one. We know this person well enough to trust his words that his 2004 model Perodua Kelisa is still in good condition. So, after a 30 second 'test drive' of the petite car, we bought it without further question, at a selling price 41% below the market value!!!

No one is ever so excited with the existence of the second hand car but my husband. He started to day dream about making some refurbishment works on the car so that it would not look too 'old' at its age. At the end of the day, we decided to repaint the car, change its upholstery completely from fabric to leather, modify its engine, tint the windows, change the tyres and install a cd player. Even after incurring all these costs, we can still sell the car and profit RM3,000 from it!

I attached below the before and after pics of the car. The mechanic did a wonderful job with the engine. Smooth, fast, lightweight. It totally feels like driving a brand new car. As a matter of fact, now I am feeling like my mpv is so heavy!





The second hand Kelisa, before the make over

Dusty interior with faded fabric upholstery

...and dirty engine too!

At the workshop where the mechanic and his gang dismantled every parts of the engine

The car looked rather scary at this point

Out went the dirty parts, in came the new parts through the dismounting process

And the result after two whole week in the make over process......




The same car, after the make over

  

Many people told us it's the body paint that makes it look gorgeous



The third day we park the car outside our compound, a stranger approached my husband and asked,

"Are you selling this car? I am interested to buy it"

  

*speechless*

While I was away...part 3/5 - Get your butt outta 'ere!!!

We made such a heavy decisision to fire our domestic maid who has been living and working with us for almost two and a half years. Yet things need to be sorted out and rectified. We have caught her red handed one too many times, and I thought then that the time has come for us to let her go. Not that I did not appreciate all her hard work all this while, but when there has been too many unpleasant incident happening in the house, I have to make her leave. What more if her schedule and timing slipped obviously, routines became difficult to be completed and most important of all, baby porcupine has several times told me that the maid pinched her at her thigh, sometimes slapped her butt and hit her at her arms because "she was naughty".

Well, you can play truant and skip the house chores, I can still close my eyes and pretend there's nothing serious to make a fuss out of it, but DON'T HURT MY BABY!!! Unless you are taking care of a sick and handicapped child, try pinpoint me one child at her age that is not active a.k.a. "naughty". I did not pay her monthly salary so that she can be bossy to my children! So out she went, with only 5 minutes notice from my husband to pack her things and clear the room.

What is done, is done. I was actually speechless. Come to think of it, I've got my thesis to complete and I was chasing the deadline, my son also needed attention because he'll be sitting an important examination at end of this year, baby porcupine also demanded some times be spent for her as she starts her school session this year, and to make situation worse, our good neighbour whom we depended on to send and fetch the children to and from schools everyday has recently migrated to Australia, leaving us in difficult situation to find other means of transportation for the children. Everything took place at the same time! AllahuAkhbar! I felt so weak and hopeless!

As a consequent, the first week being independent without the assistant of  the maid was very tough. I had to cook, wash the clothes, mop the floor, prepare the children to school, iron their uniforms, tidy their rooms, send them to school, fetch them back, bla...bla...bla... By the time I've settled everything and thought I still have time to read and do my research, I was terribly tired and sleepy, with another active little one who continuously playing soccer in my tummy.

Nonetheless, I am so blessed in life, alhamdulillah. My husband did not leave me behind to handle everything alone. He has always been by my side and helped me whenever he was at home. I really appreciate him so much that at times I can't stop the tears from falling.

Entered second week, then third, fourth, and so on, the whole family slowly adopted the new environment at home and alhamdulillah, we are now at a point where we don't find things difficult anymore. I made a proper schedule for everyone in the house to optimise the usage of time. Alhamdulillah, it works!

Behind all these hardships, there lies a blessing. Once everything has been adjusted back to normal, we made a shocking discovery: we saved about RM1,000 (Malaysian Ringgit) per month on groceries, toiletries and utility bills!!! Would you believe it if I told you that since she left home, our water bills was within the range of RM5 to RM10 only, compared to RM35 to RM50 monthly when she was around???  And the electricity bills reduced from RM100 ++ to below RM70 per month??? Let me remind you that daily consumption of water and electricity remains the same.  We also spent less when we shop for groceries nowadays. A 2 kilogram Milo (instant drink) can last for up to 3 months compare to only a month when she was here. So is the sugar, condensed milk, rice, cooking oil, etc.

That made me wonder whatever happened in the house when we both husband and wife went to work and the children were in school, leaving only the maid and baby porcupine at home.

I guess the decision to terminate her service immediately was a wise one after all..... *sigh* 

Alhamdulillah, right now I am feeling fabulous....

(all images from Google.com)

While I was away...part 2/5 - Happy Belated Birthday

So you think I've forgotten all about this, huh? Not a chance, dear.

Happy Belated Birthday to Miss Blue Pearl...(February 9, 2011)

O Allah! Please grant this beautiful lady with heart of gold bundles of happiness in her life. Please make her a strong muslimah.

And oh! one more thing, ya Allah... may she be blessed with a handsome, romantic and rich man with taqwa and iman in his heart as her husband who loves her truly. Ameen!

While I was away...part 1/5 - Blog Awards

A true friendship exists naturally, need not be asked of or forced to show. I am so blessed to have circle of friends who cares about me even though I have to be away for quite a while to concentrate on my study. While I was away, I received these two awards from my fellow bloggers that I adore so much. This was so unexpected. I am happy till this very day. Thank you, dear Blue Pearl and Zarina Hassem, for these blog awards....

January 18, 2011

I received this award from my lovely sister Miss Tweet Blue Pearl from Qatar.
Do visit her at her sparkling beautiful blog at http://bluepearlfun.blogspot.com/

February 13, 2011
Another award came from my amazing sister Zarina Hassem from South Africa
You'll love her aspiring stories at http://muslim-women-exposed.blogspot.com/

Nevertheless, I am so sorry I can't extend this award to other great bloggers because I guess it's been too late for me to do so. Like I've said earlier, I missed a lot of things while I was away. Such a regret to have wasted this opportunity...

JazakAllahu khairan kathira
May Allah grant you happiness in life and protect you from harm at all the time.

I am back, alhamdulillah...

I am finally off the hook, at least for now. Given precious moments to inhale the clean air while enjoying this short term freedom. Alhamdulillah.

To all my dear friends and readers who continuously provided supports for me all this while, jazakAllahu khair. I love you all!

Will be posting more from now, insya-Allah.

Please have patient & wait for me...

I am having my neck on the chopping board right now.

And I have lots of explanations to do to convince my supervisors on my thesis.

Have patient. Please wait for me.

I miss you all dearly....

......and I know I've missed so many things while I'm gone....

Will be back soon, Insya-Allah.

My pre-school most embarrasing moment

While watching tv last night my nine years old daughter saw a Play-Doh advertisement and was so amazed with how the children moulded and turned the colourful plasticine into ice-creams and cakes for their doll houses. She started to beg and later went extreme to bug me to buy that Play-Doh set for her.

"No way. I am not going to buy you that toy. You are too old for such a thing. End of story." I had to raise my voice a wee bit higher just to indicate my seriousness. With a sour face, she went to her grandmother and sat beside her at the sofa. My mother, who has been observing us from the beginning, patted her head and said,

"You know what, Aliya? Your mom had a bad experience related to plasticine when she was very young. I think she doesn't want the same thing to happen to you. I suppose that's why she refused to buy one for you."

"What kind of experience?" Aliya seemed to be interested to know.

I scratched my cheek. Bad experience? Me? When? How come I don't remember anything about it? I am interested to know, too!

"When your mom was only six, I sent her to a kindergarten not so far away from home. She was so happy to go to the kindergarten and meet lots and lots of friends there."  My mother paused, as if trying to remember something.

"Your mom used to have beautiful long hair with nice fringe. I normally tied her hair with a white ribbon and she was the loveliest girl in class. All the teachers loved her. But having said that, I must tell you that she is also a very, very naughty girl. She loved to show off her beautiful hair to other pupils. She thought she was a princess."

"One day, the teacher gave the pupils some plasticines to play with. Wanna know what your mom did with her plasticine?" Mom asked Aliya.


"What did she do?" Aliya asked eargerly, now already sat on her granny's lap without realising it.

Mom smiled at me. Oh yeah! Now I remember that incident! The most embarrasing moment in my childhood life! Oh mom! Please stop! Don't tell my daughter about it.... pleaseeeee........

But she continued....




The wonders of plasticine....Formula towards a trendy hair style... hahaha!



"Your mom pasted the whole bunch of those plasticine on her fringe and forehead, pretending that they were colourful hair pins. The she danced in the class, trying to attract the teachers' attention."

Another pause. Aliya waited patiently for her grandmother to continue.

"Of course she managed to get the teachers' attention. But they were not amused. Instead, they gasped to see the plasticine hanging on her fringe. Your mom was really in a sticky situation when she could not take off the plasticine from her hair. At the end of the day, she was pretty covered up with colourful, dirty plasticine on the forehead."

Aliya grinned.

"So at the end of the session, she hid herself in the locker. She was afraid I would scold her for what she has done. The teacher persuaded her to come out but she refused. They have to call me to fetch her"

"By the time I arrived at the kindergarten, all but the teachers had gone home. Finally she came out of the locker, but, masya-Allah!" mom raised her eyebrows towards Aliya.

"What happened, granny?"

"While she was in the locker, she found a scissors and cut her fringe short, so as to eliminate the plasticine evidence. But she cut it too short, her scalp was widely exposed!!"

"Hahahahaha....." Aliya rolled on the sofa, laughing hysterically. Argh! Like father like daughter!

"What happened then, granny?"

"I took her home, of course. But that was the last time she went to the kindergarten. She refused to continue school afterwards. She quit. Your mom's pre-school session lasted only for five days."

I can't blame my daughter for enjoying the story. I smiled myself. Come to think of the incident, I was so silly to have cut my fringe like that. Owh! Really, really silly! As a consequence, I have to hide myself in the house, always made sure that none of my friends saw me in this condition. Mom always encouraged me to come out, but I told her,

"I'll only come out of the house when my fringe grows back to normal"

Of course that took ages to happen......

-------------|

By the way, I'll be away (offline) till the end of this month to settle some errands. Insya-Allah, will be back in February. Till then, take care and don't be naughty (like me!). Smiles!

There was once this beautiful lady...

It all happened last year in Masjidil Nabawi, the masjid of the Prophet Muhammad salAllahu 'alaihi wasallam in Madinah. I was waiting for 'Asr adhan. I was a bit tired and sleepy, but my heart kept telling me this is not the best time to doze and my mind kept warning me to stay awake. I took the Qur'an from the shelves in front of me, tried to read some surahs, but my concentration failed me, the tajwids all went wrong, so I stopped immedately. I went back to my place and recited some zikr.

At one point I thought I heard someone talking beside me. I turned to see a young lady talking to an older lady about something. She was trying to explain something while gesturing it with both her hands, once in a while touching the feet of the elder, but the elder looked puzzled. After several minutes of observation, I finally understood the situation:

A young Pakistani lady was talking to an older Turkish lady about something.

The Turkish lady did not understand the Pakistani lady as she was speaking in her mother's tongue. This was shown clearly on the face. But the nice thing about her was that even though she had no idea what the Pakistani lady was talking about, she kept smiling and nodding her head as a sign of respect and friendship.

I was watching them with interest when suddenly the Pakistani lady turned just to catch me unguard. I instantly lowered my gaze to the floor, ashamed that she caught me listening to her conversations.

"Oh! I wish someone could understand me!" Frustrated, she sighed softly, more to herself, but loud enough for me to hear it.

"I understand you. Pretty well if you speak English" I said slowly, unsure of her respond. Who knows, she might suddenly snap at me.

She turned to stare at me and I saw her big, beautiful eyes. But Oh! Ya Allah! What have I said? Why did I intervene? Oh! Me and my big mouth!!!

"You can speak English! You understand me?" She held my hands. She was so excited. I smiled in relief and nodded. I simply can't put my eyes away from her. She has such a fair complexion.

"Alhamdulillah! For many days since I arrived in Madinah, I have not been able to talk to anyone but my own people. Most of these pilgrims only speak Arabic so it's been hard to communicate with them" She smiled. Masya-Allah, she has beautiful white teeth too!

"My name is Farida. I am from Karachi" she was still holding my hands when she said this.

"I am Ati, from Kuala Lumpur" my turn to introduce myself.

Within a few minutes afterwards, I learned that she is a doctor. I mean, a real medical doctor who can prescribe controlled medicine to patients in hospitals. Well, I am a doctor-to-be too, but I can't prescribe any medicine to anyone, unless the person wish for suicide. (hahaha...! who would like to try?) When I asked her what was it all about with the elder Turkish lady who sat next to her, Farida told me she was trying to help the lady who happened to have swollen legs, most probably due to her plumpy figure and the fact that she walks a long distance everyday. She was trying to tell the lady that putting her feet higher than the body when she rest at night will help her reduce the swelling, but the elder lady seemed not to understand her at all.

"I have tried to explain to her in English, but she just stared blankly at me. I then talked to her in Urdu, and I know she did not understand it either. Now I give up". We giggled quietly. Surprisingly, the elder lady suddenly joined us and giggled together though she did not understand anything. From that instance, the three of us became friends. Instant friends, like my favourite "Nescafe 3 in 1" drinks.

True indeed, it was such a pleasure to make new friends with other pilgrims from different backgrounds, here, at the Masjidil Nabawi. But of course it was sad too that right after the Maghrib prayer Farida had to leave us to join her husband for dinner. She finally revealed that she was married for only two months and that they both decided to perform umrah for their honeymoon. Masya-Allah, sweet!

We did not exchange contact details. We can't. For those who have been in Masjidil Nabawi, they would know how strict the rules are about bringing in personal belongings into the masjid. So we did not have anything in hand to record contacts. We just hugged and hoped to see each other again the next time, but of course that did not materialise. Till the day I departed for Makkah, I was still hoping to meet Farida one more time in the masjid, but amongst the sea of pilgrims, I knew that was impossible.




Nevertheless, I'll never forget this beautiful lady with kind heart. May Allah protect her always and help her save thousands of lives as she performs her tasks dutifully, lillahi ta'ala.

Trying my luck for Amouage

An Arabian Amouage, all the way from Germany?

As far as I can remember, the last time I bought a perfume for myself was about 14 years ago! Yes, you read that right, 14 years ago.... *Gosh! That makes me feel old and tired* The best perfume I have ever bought was Champs-Elysees by Guerlain. I was so crazy about it and love it soooooo much. Other than that, I used to have Giorgio Armani, CK Eternity Moment, Issey Miyake, and many more.

Anyway, like I said, that was 14 years ago when I was slim, beautiful, had strong backbones and no wrinkles. I stopped my hobby of collecting perfumes the moment I met my husband. Such a huge distractions!

But now I am tempted to try my luck on the samples giveaway by bosnishmuslima.  I have never tried any Arabian perfumes. Eager to get to know one. If Allah wills it, I'll get the sample sent to me all the way from Germany. Sounds like fun!

Check out her blog to find out what is offered. You can participate too! Deadline is on January 20th, 2011.  Have a go at it. Good luck!

Inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji'oon

Yes, we say this statement when someone dies. Also some of us may say this sentence when they lose something, suffer a setback or harm. But do we know what it means?


Sure, everyone knows that it obviously means 'To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.'

But do we REALLY, TRULY understand these words and their implications in a Muslim's life?

It means ...Whatever we have is not really ours. It belongs to Allah.



Take a look around you; everything you see, all that you have and all that there is....in you, on you, around you....belongs to Allah, alone. It is Allah Who has given you all the property and goods you possess, and that He is the true Owner of them all.

So the cars that you own, the houses that you live in, the businesses you possess all truly belong to Allah. The kids that He blessed you with, the health that He gave you, the time that He has allowed you are all Allah's property. Even the bodies we live in and the life that we have belongs to Allah alone.

"And to Allah belongs the inheritance of the heavens and the earth...."

(Surah Aal-Imraan:180)

"The kingdom of the heavens and the earth and everything in them belongs to Allah. He has power over all things." ( Surat al-Ma'ida: 120)

'Say: 'To Allah belongs the East and the West...'

(Surah al-Baqarah:142)

Now, since everything belongs to Allah, then we have to include even our souls in that list..

The very souls that we think of as our "self"; our "nafs"; our "being" -- whatever you want to call it -- that very thing that distinguishes you from the rest of the world, belongs to Allah. It's not YOURS.



In fact, YOU are not YOURS. You belong to Allah.

And this is the essence of the concept of TAQWA to Allah in Islam.


And since He is the true Possessor of everything, and everything is His property, He allots what He wills to whomever He wills... and then He takes it away. After all, it was Allah's to begin with. So He may give you some thing and then take it back after a while..

He will bless you with a precious child that you love dearly...and then He may take it away.
He will grant you money, honour and status.....and then He may take it away.
He will give you youth, vitality and health and then surely He will take it away.
In fact everything you have will only be with you for a very short while.
And then the Owner will claim His Right.

So when Allah does reclaim what was rightfully His, WHY MOURN OUR LOSSES?


Just like a friend who lends you his book. And then after a few days, he wants it back and you give it back to him...no regrets.....no sorrow....no questions asked. Similarly, if Allah takes back some of His blessings upon you for some reason....so be it. Say Alhamdulillaah. Don't grieve. Be patient. Submit to the will of Allah, being pleased with His decision for you. For surely He will only do what is best for you. Just think.....The Owner came and took it back.

Remember....that you're not the real owner.....you were NEVER the real owner to begin with. You only had everything because it was Allah who gave it to you in the first place. If He didn't give it to you, you wouldn't have had it in any way...in fact, you couldn't have had it.

Remember....man enters into this world empty handed...and leaves it empty handed.

Remember....that everything we have, all the blessings we enjoy, are gifts from Almighty Allah....gifts that we enjoy for a limited period until He takes them away whenever He deems fit. They are a trust from Allah...a loan to you...to see how you respond to these gifts from Allah and how you use them....in the obedience of the Almighty, thanking Him and worshipping Him......OR.........to the disobedience to the One Who gave then to you in the first place.

Take note of the words of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) on the occasion of the death of his son, Ibraahim:

'Our eyes are filled with tears, our hearts with grief, but we say nothing with our lips except that which pleases Allah.... Verily, to Allah we belong, and to Him we return.' (Bukhaari)

And we all know the famous incidence about the companion Abu Talha and his wife when one of the sons died and Abu Talha was not at home. She washed and shrouded him and when Abu Talha came home and asked about his son, she said,

'The child is quiet and I hope he is in peace....' (Bukhaari)

Subhaan Allaah....such patience! And such Imaan in the statement "Inna lillaahi wa inna ilayhi Raaji'oon"!

She truly understood its meaning and the affect it should have on her life as a Muslimah, submitting to him and being pleased with whatever He has decreed for her. She knew that whatever she has, is not truly hers. Rather, it is Allah's....and He took back whatever He owns at its appointed time. And it is because of this Imaan so strong, this understanding, that the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) made doa for them and Allah blessed them immensely.

 "They (i.e. Abu Talha and his wife) had nine sons and all of them became reciters of the Quran (by heart)." (Bukhaari)

"Be sure we will test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives, but give glad tidings to those who are steadfast, who say when afflicted with calamity: 'To Allah we belong and to him is our return.' They are those on who (descend) blessings from Allah and mercy and they are the once that receive guidance."

(Surah Al-Baqarah: 155)

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Ya Allah! Ya Rabbi! I pray I could be as strong and patient as the wife of Abu Talha... forgive me, ya Allah, for I have sinned. Bless me, ya Allah, and protect me from the torture of hell. Verily, to You I belong, and to You I return. Ameen.

Baby porcupine goes to Little Caliphs today

My naughty baby porcupine...!

It's actually a kidergarten. She's only 4 years old.

I prepared her bag this morning. There's no textbook or stationary or anything like that. I just packed some clothes and her milk bottle into a school bag and gave it to her. She was jumping here and there, can't stay calm at one place. Kept telling her brother and sister that she is going to school too, just like them.

I, on the contrary, feel sad... My dear darling has grown up too fast! Tears were falling from my eyes.

......And my husband was making fun of me and my emotional scene....

Aaaaaarrrrggghhhhhh....!!!!!

I desperately want to bite his nose!

A pleasant surprise to start the new year

My husband has been a very understanding person. He is the only one who could tolerate my rantings and ravings. Not at all a romantic person, but he's caring and I know he loves me much. Nonetheless, he has this one kind of sense of humor in him that sometimes I can't predict, though I have been sharing my life with him for more than 12 years now.

Today, without a word, he left house early morning and only came back in the afternoon. Smiles on his face, he asked me to sit at the sofa and told me he has something for me. I was quite suspicious with his attitude, yet I obeyed.

"This is for you." He handed me a big box wrapped nicely. Like a birthday gift. But today is not my birthday.

"What's this?" I asked, still looking suspicious.

"Open it. You'll love it." He said, still smiling.

I put the box on the coffee table and stared at it. This must be one of his clever tricks. Well, I've been tricked one too many times. He would then roll happily on the floor when my face turned red. Who knows what he put inside the box? What would be his trick this time?

"Are you doubting me?"

"Tell me what's in the box."

"Why don't you find out yourself? Open it."

"No. I don't want to."

"So you don't want it? I'll give it to our son, then. He'll be extremely happy."

There's silent everywhere. I tried to figure out what could possibly be in the box. Today is the first day of a new year, he has a good reason to put another trick on me. But no way that's gonna happen. I am determined not to be fooled!

Because there's no respond from me, my husband called our son to the living room.

"This is for you. A special gift from your mom." He said to Irfan.

"A present! For me? Can I open it now?"

"Yes, and make sure you open it in front of your mom, because it's from her." My husband kept smiling. I wonder if he ever felt tired of smiling like that.

Irfan did not hesitate to tear open the wrapping paper. Soon the mysterious gift revealed itself.

A CAMERA! IT'S A CAMERA. WOW!!!

I was about to jump to my son and grab the camera, but suddenly stopped abruptly. Perhaps it's a dummy. Must control myself from getting too excited.

"Cool, dad! Thanks. mom!" Irfan was excited. I got a kiss on my cheek.

"Can you teach me how to use this stuff?" Irfan asked his father.

"Sure, first you need to insert the battery and the smart card. Then ....(bla..bla..bla...)"

Owh! Just you wait, Irfan, when you finally find out your dad is putting a trick on you." I said quietly, still stoned at the sofa.

Suddenly the door bell rang. My husband got up to get it. This is golden opportunity for me to inspect the dummy camera.

"I'm sure this camera is expensive, mom! It comes with many features. See! I must read the manual first before I can shoot like an expert."

"Let me have a look at it." I took the camera from his hands.

Masya-Allah!!!

It's a REAL CAMERA. It's a brand new Nikon D3100. It's simply beautiful.....I fell in love with it instantly.

Owh! Now I regret being snobbish earlier. What should I do? I have unintentionally "handed over" the camera to Irfan. What to do now?

"This is a mistake. I did not give the camera to you. Can I have it back, Irfan? Pleaseeeeee...??"

****************************************************

To cut the story short, after much persuasion, Irfan finally agreed to exchange the brand new Nikon D3100 with his father's old Canon Powershot. What a relief! He finally agreed that the new camera is too complicated to handle and understand. So he opted for the much simpler, smaller, lighter and handier Canon Powershot. I owe my husband an apology for not trusting him in the first place. I must thank him too for being able to convince our son to take Canon instead. Dear darling husband, I love you so much!

"Now you need not take pics with your old Nokia N90 for your blog anymore. Oh! But you'll have to attend a training session organised by Nikon." my husband told me.

It had never occured to me that I would need to be trained to use a camera. But the idea does make me feel excited. I am looking forward for the session.

This is really a pleasant surprise for me to start the new year. At the time I write this post, I kept wondering if I would be able to master all the features offered by the camera and take beautiful pictures with it.

We'll see.....

Weird things about me... A fun way to close my 2010 diary

My oh my! 2010 is ending soon! How fast time flies nowadays! I don't seem to be able to set the milestone, how far have I ventured this year? What significant achievement have I accomplished so far (other than this significant growing belly...)? That's truly awkward, really.

Anyway, Blue Pearl tagged me in her blog for "Weird Things About Me"...I fell kind of excited to receive this task, because I have never been tagged before. (Thanks, Blue Pearl  **hugs**)

So, here are the things I could think of:

1) I can stay awake for more than 48 hours continuously and then fall dead for another 24 hours without experiencing any headache or head spinning afterwards. I can do this routine up to a week long.

2) I am not ticklish at all. Try as hard as you can, I won't budge. There won't even be any face reaction at all. Sorry, gals.

3) I can't be in an open space at high places (such as tall buildings) alone. Someone has to accompany me. Not that I am afraid of height. I have the tendency to jump. My first attempt was when I was 12. Maybe I should try the proper bungee jump one day.







4) I am not interested in hanging around with friends to pass my time without any particular purpose. There are no "Ladies' Day Out" or Ladies' Night" terms in my life.

5) I am a DIY person. When I renovated my house 3 years ago, I built the stacked stone wall for my front porch, I made my driveway out of washed pebbles, I drilled holes on the wall to install the brackets for my LCD TV, I painted the whole house, etc..etc. You don't believe me? You'd better do!









Last but not least.....the weirdest of all.....



6) I am addicted to the smell of my husband's armpit especially when he's all sweaty and just came back from work!!!!!  I would definitely stick my nose under his arm and suck the air into my lungs. Ummphhh...... Nice! Hahaha...!







Well, that's about it. What do you think, am I a weirdo enough? *blushy*

Oh man! Not again!!!

Quite some time ago I put up these posts about the 'uninvited visitors' in my house: a gigantic catfish that was found stranded at the back door still alive (as it 'knocked' the door with its tail) and a tiny domestic mouse that came to visit at nights and chewed my floor mat into small pieces. We have eliminated them the best way we can for the safety of everyone in the house (especially my baby porcupine who insisted we keep the mouse as cuddly pet... what???!!!!)

I thought our problem is over until last few nights when there came another unwanted and unexpected visitor 'checked-in' into our master bedroom to share the same space with us to live happily ever after.

A CIVET!!!!!

Image taken from forumjualbeli.com

  

The only different between us human and the civet is that we live in the room and it stays in the ceiling, right on top of us. We can hear it running here and there almost every night, starting at around 3 a.m. in the morning and would last for about a few minutes up to an hour before it disappeared to God knows where. I can't sleep during this time, for fear that this cunning animal might suddenly fall from the air and land straight onto my face.... On top of that, normally the next morning when we wake up, we'll be breathing in a room with this peculiar, nice smell of pandan leaves (pandanus amaryllifolius), a common plant we use to add nice fragrance and also green colouring in our cooking. It was the civet's urine that smells like pandan leaves! Masya-Allah!

I can't believe this! Our house is in the middle of a busy city. We have massive traffic jam in the morning and again in the evening. Constructions of new buildings are everywhere. The moment we open our eyes in the morning there will be many sources of noises from people's activities, vehicles, machines, etc., they're like music to our ears. Even when we retire to bed at night, we still can hear these noises. This is just to describe you how busy this place is. So where does this civet come from??? 

The more important question to think about is..... how do I get rid of it?